


Remedial Communicaiton

by Olsies



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Fat Ben Hanscom, Fluff and Angst, Internalized Fatphobia, M/M, Miscommunication
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:40:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26322793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Olsies/pseuds/Olsies
Summary: Ben neverreallybelieves it when guys tell him he is attractive and sexy, when they tell him he makes them feel so good, when they tell him that they like him. He’s not stupid. He knows what kind of a guy he is. Not only is a major nerd, but he’s afatmajor nerd. And nobody wants to date the fat guy. Fuck him occasionally, but not date. He’s theirdirty little secret, only not so little.
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Richie Tozier
Comments: 4
Kudos: 24





	Remedial Communicaiton

Ben never _really_ believes it when guys tell him he is attractive and sexy, when they tell him he makes them feel so good, when they tell him that they like him. He’s not stupid. He knows what kind of a guy he is. Not only is a major nerd, but he’s a _fat_ major nerd. And nobody wants to date the fat guy. Fuck him occasionally, but not date. He’s their _dirty little secret_ , only not so little.

So, after their third date of eating at the diner where all the students go in groups after classes to destress, which to Ben is not really _much_ of a date, Ben brings Richie to his room. They barely get the door closed when Richie starts up with The Lies.

"Fuck, you're so hot," Richie says as he runs his hands all over Ben. Nodding, Ben kisses him and leans over to flick off the light.

“No, keep them on. I want to see you.”

Ben shakes his head. “I don’t like having the lights on.”

Richie licks his lips and shrugs. “Ok.”

Ben flicks off the light and they crawl on the bed. Richie kisses him, grinds into him, moaning. He can’t keep his hands off of Ben.

“Fuck, Ben. I can’t believe this is happening.” Ben just hums and kisses him in an effort to shut him up.

Later, when Richie is fingering him open, Ben tries to not listen as Richie talks.

“Jesus, Ben, just look at you. Look at how good you are, how well you’re taking me. You’re so fucking _hot_. So fucking beautiful.”

Huffing, Ben whines, “Richie, I’m ready. I’m-” Richie twists his fingers hitting Ben’s prostate. “Fuhhhhhck!” Richie does it again and and again while Ben just whines and swears. If Richie is talking, Ben has no idea.

By the time Richie pulls his fingers out, Ben is a sweaty mess, near tears. He’s so fucking keyed up.

“Where are the condoms?” Richie asks. Ben can only point to a bedside table. Richie kisses Ben’s chest a few times before leaning over and grabbing one. Breathing hard, Ben watches Richie’s outline as he opens the condom and rolls it on his cock. He lines himself up and looks down at Ben.

“You ok, Benny?” Richie asks. Ben just nods. “Are you sure?”

“I’m fine,” Ben says, but his voice cracks.

Before Ben can stop him, Richie leans over and turns on the light.

“Ben, are you-”

“I’m fine!” Ben snaps and turns off the light.

“I don’t think you are.” Richie turns it back on.

“I’m fine. I told you I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be fine?” Ben asks as he turns the light back off.

Slowly, Richie turns the light back on. “You’re crying, Ben.”

Rubbing his eyes, Ben shakes his head, and is shocked to find that Richie’s right. He untangles himself from Richie, his limbs feeling so heavy.

“Tell me what’s going on,” Richie says gently. Ben gets up and finds his boxers.

“It’s nothing. Really. I’m fine. I have to use the bathroom. You leave whenever you feel like it.”

“Ben!” Richie says but Ben just goes into his bathroom and closes the door behind him. After tugging on his boxers, he sits on the closed toilet for a long time as he tries to calm himself down. Eventually he gets up, washes his hands and face, and goes back out to his room.

He’s a little surprised to find Richie, wearing his underwear and a t-shirt, sitting at his desk. As soon as Ben comes out, Richie stands up and adjusts his glasses.

“Oh,” Ben breathes.

“I’m sorry, I just wanted to make sure you were ok.”

Licking his lips, Ben just says, “I’m fine.”

“Why are you lying? What- Did- Did I do something?”

“Richie, I’m just tired. I wanted to get off, but clearly you’re not interested. It’s fine. I understand.”

“You were crying,” Richie says. “You- You’re upset. I don’t like hooking up with people when they are upset and crying.”

“I told you-”

“Ben, what did I do?” Now Richie’s near tears.

Licking his lips, Ben sits on his bed. “Nothing. You did nothing wrong.”

“Then what happened?”

“I just- I’m just tired of guys lying to me.”

“Lying to you? When- How- What? When? When did I lie?”

“Richie,” Ben says softly. “I’m _not_ sexy.”

“What?” Richie sits back down on Ben's desk chair.

“I have eyes. I’ve seen myself in the mirror. I know- I know what guys see.”

“Ben, I-” He stares at Ben for a moment. “Where is this coming from?”

“Reality.”

“What do you mean? _Reality_? Why would I be here if I didn’t find you attractive?"

Ben shrugs. “You wouldn’t be the first guy to want to just use me for sex.”

“I- I can’t believe you’re lumping me in with _other guys_ ,” Richie says. “I- I’ve had the hugest crush on you for _such a fucking long time_. When I asked you out last week, I was so fucking excited.”

“You don’t have to lie.”

“Why would I lie about this?”

“To make me feel better.”

Richie laughs humorlessly. “No, Ben. I wouldn’t lie about this. I- I care too much about you.”

Neither of them say anything for a minute.

“Then why-” Ben shakes his head.

“Why what?”

“Why do we always seem to just be all about the physical?"

Richie blinks at him. "You're the one who always suggests we come back to your room, and I just thought… Fuck, Ben, I'm sorry."

Ben thinks about what Richie's just said and he blushes. Richie is absolutely right. Every time they get together, before Richie can suggest anything, Ben is pulling Richie back to his room.

"I- I guess I just assumed…" Ben stares at Richie in disbelief. "Fuck. I'm sorry, Rich."

Richie swallows hard. "So, uh, did you- Did you even _want_ to sleep with me? Or did you just do it because it's what you thought I wanted?"

Ben's mouth goes dry and it takes him a minute to get his mouth to work. " _Of course_ I wanted to sleep with you! I just- I thought that's all you wanted, and it just got to be too much."

"Well it's not all I want," Richie says softly. "I just want to be with you, and I thought-"

"Fuck, did _you_ even want to-"

"Of course I did! You- Yes. Always yes," Richie blurts out, and Ben licks his lips.

"Really?"

"Really," Richie assures him. "What, you think I say all those things to just anyone?"

Ben shrugs.

"Jesus, we are a couple of dumbasses." Richie laughs.

They just smile at each other for a few moments, laughing softly.

"So, what do we do now?" Ben asks.

"If you're up to it, I think we should just cuddle this out. There is no way I'll be able to get it up after such a fucking intense conversation. And then tomorrow we'll go on a date, a proper _date_ , and we don't even have to mess around, we can just, you know, be together."

"That sounds really nice," Ben says. Smiling, they both stand up, and pull each other close for a tight hug.

"I'm sorry I didn't bring this up sooner," Ben whispers.

"It's ok."

When they pull apart, Richie grabs Ben's remote and turns the TV on while Ben pulls on a shirt. They crawl back onto the bed, but this time they pull Ben's blankets around them. Before settling in, Richie turns off the light. Ben curls up under Richie's arm and uses his chest as a pillow. Richie puts on _Parks and Rec_ because it is something they both enjoy, and Richie gives Ben one last squeeze before they settle down and watch the show.

**Author's Note:**

> once again, this was supposed to be a drabble. buahahahahaha! that being said, if you're looking for more trashstack, come visit me on my [tumblr](https://nblesbianbenhanscom.tumblr.com/). maybe you too can inspire something that will turn into a fic.


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